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Panic Attacks and Anxiety - The Unreality of Depersonalization
Posted by anxiouswill in Prescription Anxiety Drugs on August 13th, 2009
When I was in what I call my panic attacks and anxiety phase (six years!) perhaps the most disturbing feeling I experienced was that of “being in a movie”.
I wasn’t real anymore. During the worst of the attacks I watched myself like I was in a movie, a bad movie, written by someone else. I didn’t know what was going to happen next but I suspected it was going to be bad.
That’s how it felt and it was another awful component to the whole anxiety disorder syndrome.
In my case it kept me from seeking help.
I thought I was losing my mind and I didn’t want to go to the doctor and find out that I was right!
I have been a businessman for 40 years. I’ve had a lot of meetings, although I probably would have had far more and more productive meetings during that period if I didn’t have my thoughts flashing to the dark hole in the back of my mind.
It was the dark hole in the back of my mind that the evil panic attack lived. I knew this was a construct but it’s how I came to see panic attacks…as an evil entity.
And having an evil entity in one’s head will make you feel crazy.
But that wasn’t all. I “knew” this idea wasn’t real. The feelings were real, the whole disorder was real, but the thing causing it wasn’t real. Worse, it was unknown. Very scary.
I now know that patients in mental institutions must have very frightening thoughts going through their heads, because if you have any idea that you are losing your mind you also fear that you are losing yourself. It is awful.
But this article isn’t about me now. I’ve been without panic attacks for 25 years. I still have anxiety. Most people do. It’s manageable and even necessary.
No, this article is about you or someone you know that is experiencing excessive anxiety on a fairly continuous basis. A bad way to live.
The depersonalization and resulting sense of “unreality” is a frightening side symptom to the anxiety-panic attack disorder. But it is just that. It’s sort of a side effect, and you can rest assured that it will pass.
During my time with this (six years) I learned to just let it ride.
I told myself, “I have been here before. This has always passed.”?
As a result of these simple positive affirmations, the unreality and depersonalization feelings, while they didn’t go away, their fright factor went down. Way down.
I saw this little victory as a first step to learning how to stop panic attacks, which I wanted very much to stop. It was wrecking my life!
It wasn’t much further down the road that I had that “halleleuia” moment in my car when I realized that my anger at this entity ruining my life was what put me in charge again. I was stronger than the panic attacks now! If one came I turned it right around and sent it packing.
I did it in one move and you can too. Only YOU don’t have to wait six years!
I guarantee you this. You can have your life back. And you’re gonna LOVE IT!?
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